So, my therapist suggested that I start keeping a journal. The theory is that if I write it down I will get out all my anxiety and be able to sleep. I'm not sure if I agree or not, but at this point I am willing to try anything to get some recuperative sleep. So, here goes. This is what I have been obsessing about lately:
I have mixed feelings about the Mayan Calendar Theory - that the world is going to end (or at least the world as we know it) on December 21, 2012, the day the Mayan Calander ends. I have seen a lot of references to it in the last few months and many of the arguments as to why it may be legit are pretty compelling (except for the nostradomus and web-bot arguments). Now, I am not generally a conspiracy theorist and will certainly not be preparing my "end of the world survival kit," but I want to be prepared in case *something* does happen at or around that time. So, I've been randomly thinking about what I would do if I wake up on December 22, 2012 to some post-apocalyptic world a-la "Resident Evil" or "Jericho," if you will. The best news, of course, would be that all my student loan and other debt would theoretically be wiped out. Would I be the kind of person who would help in efforts to rebuild civilization, or would I wuss-out (like I did in New Orleans) and just live out my days in a straw hut on a beach somewhere like a "Survivor" contestant (minus the stupid challenges and annoying tribe-mates)? The fact that I don't know, and that at different times I alternate elaborating on each scenario, is starting to contribute greatly to my feelings of failure and inadequacy. Damn the stupid History Channel for airing that episode of "Decoding The Past" at the exact time I was passing it while flipping through channels!!!!
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